Written by: Danielle Nutter
What Makes People Change
Everyone’s purpose on Earth is to evolve into something. To grow, we must go through an array of ebbs and flows that will guide us to adapt and mature. Some believe that our journey has already been established by the divine and there are predetermined experiences we will go through no matter what, while others believe that the decisions we make create every aspect of our reality. Whether in control or not, we are simply a connected collection of human beings wandering around Earth searching for happiness. That happiness relies on either changing our circumstances or ourselves.
My Battle With Changing
As an adult, I chased the things that made me happy. The only way I knew how to bring joy to my life was to attach to another. Nothing felt better to me than receiving someone else’s affection. It made me feel good inside and gave me the strength to handle whatever life dealt me. But unfortunately, because of my dependence, when one relationship ended, I began another. I immediately moved forward by replacing the old with the new – without even considering that I may be responsible for why my unions weren’t working out. And because of that, I had no inner drive to self-improve.
Then, one day, inevitably, my luck ran out! Relationship number five ended, and I was left empty, alone, and broken. I knew it was time to face my problem, plus I gave up believing there was a Mrs. Right just for me! Repeatedly losing love forced me to finally examine and own up to my needy actions and behaviors.
Step 4: Make a moral and fearless inventory of yourself
HEAL’N TEES
Heal’n My Avoidance to Change
Deep down inside, I always knew I could not spend the rest of my life chasing people and expecting them to love me. Between my breakups and new hook-ups, I purposely tried to be happy by myself. However, I was unsuccessful because the loneliness was too unbearable. I knew someday I would, again, be faced with the dilemma of loving someone else or choosing me. This time, I was determined to learn how to create my inner happiness because I never wanted to feel incomplete again. To make improvements, I first had to figure out what needed to be changed. Below is an example of the top four things that I thought, if changed, would help me live a more gratifying life.
- I work a lot to pay bills and buy material things.
- I busy myself by constantly doing something or talking with others.
- I don’t have any spirituality in my life. I only pray when things go wrong.
- I chase and attach to others to feel loved, too hasty with commitment.
Remember For Your Heal’n
We cannot escape the struggles and storms that enter our lives. Many of the lessons we learn are through our relationships. Ignoring the teachings will only cause the situation to repeat again and again until we figure it out. If you notice a problem that keeps repeating itself, assess the situation. Becoming aware of your faults may be a painful process. Still, it is necessary to acknowledge your character flaws to get to the root of your problems. It will help you discover your truths and develop healthy attitudes and beliefs. But before you can heal, you have to know what to fix. Regularly take a personal inventory of your strengths and weaknesses. It will help you to learn and become your authentic self.
Your Two Cents…
What motivates you to change? Leave your comment below.